Tried and Failed

Blogging is a great way to get things off my chest and my heart. It's sort of like therapy when I write or type something and read through what I've written and ask God to show me what He wants to show me. I encourage anyone to try it at least once. Recently, I went on a small out of town trip to visit my sisters whom I love very much. While I was there it was peaceful. No worries, just doing a little house cleaning and movie watching. My sister always has great food and I'm probably up a few pounds but it's worth it. It was great visiting with my baby sister too. She had just returned from Florida and for Christmas, she received a computer. Seeing her enjoy something was wonderful. Everything would have been perfect except I was tempted...and I failed the test. The hardest thing was admitting it and then I just wanted to flee. The drive is one and a half hours so I had plenty of time to really cut myself down. It went on and on. Even though I was forgiven, the shame is almost unbearable. If it wasn't for the Lord, I know it would be a hundred times worse. I had asked the Lord to help me, and in looking back I can see He did. Not in the way I would have liked but in a way that would help me. Being able to talk to my sister has somehow helped me realize I'm not alone. I mean I know God is with me, but He did put people in our lives to help us through this life. I'm not going to say that the shame is gone all the way, but slowly, it's being lifted. I will look upon this experience as the day I was tested and failed, but in failing I have someone who will help me. The one thing I am most grateful is knowing that my sister loves me very much. She doesn't say it a lot, but she shows it all the time. I'm trying to go easy on myself and forgive myself quicker, only because the Lord has. So I will not waste this day, but I will rejoice and be glad in it. May we all learn how to turn to trusted ones for help. Before we know it, He will be here and I want to be found conformed to the image of His son...at least a little bit. May we always turn to our Savior first.