Wide Awake

I woke up at 2:27 a.m. And could not go back to sleep. So I tried some relaxing techniques, I prayed for people, I was almost getting back to sleep when it hit me....I get to see my son today!!! Now I'm wide awake! Why do I continue to be so joyful each time I know I'm going to see him? Let me think. Perhaps it's because I have several people in my life that have lost their child...or, perhaps there was a time I went weeks, or months without hearing from him and when I did, it was short and there was something not right. My son and I have been through a lot together. As a single parent for a few years in my early 20's, there were times it was just him and I. I remember turning on the oven early in the morning in the dark winter months, and as I got ready for work, I would lay his clothes, socks and shoes on the oven door and place a chair in front of it so that when I finally got my son up, he wouldn't be cold. I'd warm up that old Monte Carlo and wrap him in a blanket and carry him downstairs to the warm car. Some people thought I overdid it with him a bit, especially since he was twelve at the time (just kidding, he was two)...but I couldn't do enough. When I first saw him, I loved him. He was a part of me. As I watched him grow, I couldn't help but be so proud of him and all of his accomplishments. He was so smart, creative, talented, athletic, handsome, funny and most importantly, kind and compassionate. Everyone loved him, yet some were jealous of him, but he usually won them over. He now is a 32 year old man who is a hard worker and loyal to his job for eleven years. We went to San Diego and one memory was me laying on the beach and I looked to see if he was returning from the store on the boardwalk and I see this tall, handsome, fully grown man walking towards me with a hairy chest. That's my baby?! Then I wonder how much God loved His son. Knowing we can't come close to loving the way God loves, amazes me. Yet, a love that great, was the sacrifice God used to show us how much He loved us. Cruel? No. For we are His kids too once we believe. He gave His firstborn, perfect and I mean perfect son for us so that we all get to live with Him in heaven together forever. Right now as I look forward to today, I know only too well that our time together will come to an end and it will seem like we only just got together. Yet I know, one day He will come and wipe every tear away, all loved ones reunited forever and ever, never to rush away again...what a day that will be!