Teaching - Learning to Play to the Audience of One

Next week, Lord willing, I may start a brand new job as a Teacher's Aide for High School students.  As I laid in bed this morning thinking about all the jobs I've had, I couldn't help but realize this one is one I thought I could never do even though I use to dream and play Teacher as a child.  You see, I was a high school drop out.  Never thinking at the time how that would follow me the rest of my life.  It's almost like saying I'm a quitter.  Even though there were special circumstances that had prevented me from obtaining a High School Diploma, I did eventually receive my GED.  That's sort of like comparing a quitter to someone who got laid off, sort of. 

This new adventure is both exciting and to be honest scary!!  I have had some great teachers in the past who made lifelong influences on my life in a positive way.  I've also had teachers that abused me and scarred me.  I choose to remember the positive ones. 

As with any new job, I am going to be like a fish out of water, yet it appeals to me because as I prayed about this entire opportunity, I have this desire to see what God is going to have me do.  I want to be a witness for Him.  I'm not saying I can't be a witness for Him without an outside of the house job, because anyone can; however, I'm saying this feels different.  These are teenagers I am going to be hopefully influencing positively.  I love teenagers! 

The fear comes from the usual doubts of my ability, fear of how the teacher's I try to assist take to me, and the fear of doing or saying something that could hurt someone.  I've done that enough in my life.  So, as I begin on this journey, hopefully next Thursday, I know how to silence these fears.  Only by working as unto the Lord.  Each morning asking for wisdom, protection for the students and faculty, a loving and helpful attitude, forgetting myself and seeking someone else's good, and humility along with thankfulness.  Then that peace....oh that sweet peace which I've tasted, will guard my heart and my mind. 

With over 20 years of working in Corporate America and climbing up the aluminum ladder of people pleasing, I remember the fear.  It all stemmed from trying to please everyone, except God.  All those things I fretted over, cried over, drank over....were stupid.  They passed and those great ones now ... where are they?  Now that I know that, and lived through it, I can hopefully remember how this does all pass.  Everything will pass away except for the Word of the Lord.  So, if anyone hears me fretting over something stupid...please make me read the Word, Pray to the Lord and repent.  I want to please Him and play to an audience of one.