It always amazes me how life can go from one situation to another and when you look back, you wonder, did that really happen, or did I really live that way? Recently, I started working at a High School as a ParaProfessional, or Teacher's Aide. I am assigned to assist in four classrooms, with four different teachers. Each teacher comes with amazing strengths and weaknesses. Of course, the first year teacher has her work cut out for her. A new ParaPro, with a brand new teacher, is not the best option in my opinion; however, only God knows what's going to happen, according to His will.
Week one comes and goes super fast. I literally am running from my first period class, which is Web Design, to my second period class, German. There's so much to learn and so many students that need help that these 90 minutes seem to fly by. After a rushed lunch, I'm running to English III and then my final class of the day...Algebra I. Alegebra I has the brand new teacher, a little spit fire I'll call Mrs. Loker. When I first saw her I asked "Did you just graduate and decide to teach?" and she quickly did the "hush, don't tell anyone, especially the kids!" look. I have to say a more determined teacher, I've yet to meet. She actually has these students learning Algebra! Her youth affords her energy and enthusiasm and the students seem to like this class. However, there's the one student...
Eddie is on the football team, as well as seven other boys in this class. He is a tad slow, yet at times he comes across like he really cares about his grades. Apparently, if you don't achieve a grade of "C" or above, there are issues with playing football. From day one, he's been a challenge. At one point, the new teacher looked at me and said "you deal with him...I can't anymore." So, with the same experience as she has, I try. Everyday as I'm going through my day, I'm so excited to be a part of the youth and our education system, that I could cry. Then, I remember that fourth hour is coming. Knots start getting tied in my stomach. I'm really trying to work with this class, but I have to be honest...it's difficult. Parts of me wonder if I'm really suppose to be here.
On the fourth week, Eddie is pretty much a hit and miss with his actions, loud mouth and work assignments. It's Friday. It's hot outside in this August Arizona heat, and the classroom is super hot and smells like a toilet. I feel something is going to happen. Don't know what it is, but I've been prayed over and I'm praying every morning, so I think I'm ready. We only have 20 minutes left of class, then the weekend. Out of nowhere, Eddie puffs up his chest and is walking up to a boy just as big as he is, but thinner. They both have their chests stuck out and their eyes are like something out of a horror film...crossed and all. Within seconds fists are flying and the teacher and I are scrambling to get over to this fight to break it up until we realize, we are no match for the Palestines. I'm yelling "Knock it Off!!" She's yelling and screaming but the only reason they stopped was because they were taking a breath. I grabbed one and yanked him outside and she grabbed Eddie and kept him inside. We waited for an eternity it seemed until Security arrived to take these two giants to the Principal's office. Out of breath and still in shock, Ms. Loker decides to go over the rules of conduct.
I cried all the way home....picturing two little girls trapped against the wall while the fists are flying and they couldn't get away and almost got hit. The other kids just going crazy and how long it took to calm them down. Why am I here??!!! Just one month ago I was enjoying my retirement lifestyle. Lunch with my girlfriends, traveling to my sisters and son's home, shopping and watching Lifetime Movies in the afternoon. Now, I'm in a third world country with gigantic kids and at any moment, one of them could snap! There's no security...well, outside of the Lord. Why am I doing this??
Monday comes way too soon and before I know it, I'm back at school. A girl needs me to show her how to figure out the binery codes for web design. I help her. Another student needs me to help with tables and a link in a web page. Second period, I'm helping two boys with their German homework. Lunch comes and goes. English III, I'm walking desk to desk to help these students with their assignments, grading papers, disciplining and trying to keep order. Then, fourth period comes. The two boys had been kicked out for seven days. However, I look around and there are several more there willing to take their places. Ms. Loker and I are stricter than ever...absolutely no one is to get up and walk around. I am helping several students with Algebra. They're starting to get it?! When I see a light in their little eyes that they now understand what x equals.....it hits me that this is why I'm here!
God had allowed Moses and his people to wonder the wildnerness for 40 years before they came to the Promise Land. A land of milk and honey. However, Joshua sent out twelve spies to check the land out and ten of the spies came back and said it's absolutely wonderful...except....there are giants in the land. Their total lack of faith in God's ability, afterall He had done for them, kept that generation from entering the Promised Land.
When God does amazing things for me and then He blesses me with a job that's only been my passion since I was a child, why would I let giants keep me from it? God isn't going to let anything happen that isn't according to His will. I trust the Lord with my all. That includes my job and safety for not only myself, but for my loved ones. God has done too much for me to wonder if He can....I know He can!! I just need to trust Him. Won't you trust Him with your giants....?
