Forgiven Already??

There was this woman I knew who had a sister she loved very much. She worried about her sister after she found out her sis lost everything. "Come stay with me and I'll help you!" the older said to the younger. So, the move was made and it was fun. As kids growing up, they were use to sharing or taking things from each other, especially things that they loved. As the months flew by and summer approached, the younger sister thought "I'll take this from my older sister because she use to take things from me". So, she took it. The older sister realized what she had lost and little sister had to go. She missed her sister as well as the thing her sister took, but was it really worth losing a relationship that they have had all their lives? So, the older sister prayed to God to help her forgive. God helped her eventually and a new love came over her for her sister. Calls were made, lunches were shared and pretty soon, everything was better than before. But one day the sisters were in a closet sharing clothes when it appeared that the younger sister was crouching down to pick something up from the floor. So the older sister took her hand to help her when out of nowhere, the younger sister looked up with tears in her eyes and said to her older sister "Can you ever forgive me, I am sooo sorry?". The older sister now realized the younger sister was on her knees begging for forgiveness. It hit like a ton of bricks and the pain of seeing her little sister like that ... broke her heart. She lifted her up, hugging her and said, "I forgave you a long time ago sissy!". I still cry when I think of that story because I was the older sister. Then I realized how God must feel when I continue to go to Him asking for Him to forgive me for past sins when He already did. Now I just thank the Lord and try to please Him because of my thankfulness to Him for all He has forgiven me of. I rededicated my life to Him and even that relationship is better. And the thing that was taken, was restored and is better than before. "Whoever is without sin, may cast the first stone". Thank you Lord for restoration and forgiving us.

Nice Little Treat

I was invited over to a distant friend of mine for lunch today. We use to work together when we were Realtors, then discovered we live right around the corner from each other. I had a small gathering at my home the prior month as a luncheon and decided to send the invite to whoever. She indicated she would love to come over. I was thrilled. This friend is the one that interested me in becoming an Antique Dealer and having my own little Boutique. Her home is filled with treasures both from hunting or from making herself. The talent is so mind boggling at times. I love being around women that have these little gifts as 'iron sharpens iron'. So, I go over for lunch and she's preparing a wonderful salad quite different than what I'm used to and I'm watching, asking questions, and learning. It was so great. How she set her table and presented her food was so elegant, yet simple. She head another friend with her and the conversation flowed, the food was wonderful and there was such a relaxed atmosphere that before I realized it, I had been there two hours. With other errands to run, her other friend and I were departing and she made us a wonderful to go plate. Such generosity, and sweetness. I don't know what I was expecting but I had a wonderful time. The only thing that would have made it better is if my Aunt could have come, but she'll make it next time. Relationships take nurturing, time, communication and honesty. I pray our relationship as friends grow and feel especially blessed to be reunited with this friend. Was a very pleasant afternoon.

Onward! Upward!!

In my late twenties, I had been married to a man who was a very strict, religious man. Wonder why that didn't work out?! I remember on one outing, we were in Sedona driving through the back roads with my son, age 8 and my bonus daughter, age 10. The three of us were begging for the car to stop and let us walk around and see the beautiful woods up close. Finally, the car stopped and out of that car we climbed. It was beautiful but I wanted to see where this little trail I happened to notice would lead, so off I go with the two kids following me. We weren't even 15 yards up the trail when the sound of "COME BACK...WE'RE LEAVING" started. I'm standing there in disbelief and made a decision that I was going to see where this trail ended. Afterall, when will we be back, if ever? When was the weather going to be more perfect as it was as well as it being the time of day where the sun was going to set within the hour? So, me and the kids continued. The yelling got louder, and my little poor bonus daughter was afraid, so she turned back to go with her father. I didn't blame her. Then there were two. We hiked upward and onward and the trail got thinner but our excitement got larger. Not only were we on an adventure hike, but we were not sure how angry the yeller was going to be when we got back. About 10 minutes into the hike, we came to a small clearing at the top of that hill and the end of the trail. My son and I sat on an old log that had fallen probably from an ancient storm years ago. Across the clearing was the most beautiful sight laid out before us. All colors of the Fall season were over and around the hills for miles. It was breathtaking! I decided at that moment to look at my son and say "sometimes in life, you have to determine if a goal is worth the price you are going to pay. Then, you do it". When we returned to the car, I have to say that I really don't remember what the price was, the words said, or even the face of the yelling voice. But I'll never forget that view and that time my son and I sat on that log, a small breeze blowing on our faces and the reassurance that this was so worth the impending lecture we were going to hear upon our return. My son and I have been on several more adventure hikes, walks, and trips and no matter the cost, they have all been so worth it...

Mother's Day

The very first memory I have of my mom was when I was probably three years old. Us four girls were sleeping at my grandmother's house, I mean Ma's house, and I fell off the bed in the pink bedroom. I remember mom walking in and I must have been crying because she picked me up, held me close and gently whispered soft words in my ear. Years flew by so fast that before I knew it, I was 37. Going to mom's almost daily for lunch had turned out to be something I (and I know she did) looked forward too. Ma had gone to be with the Lord two years earlier and for the first time, it seemed I finally had that bond with mom I had always longed for. She would always have my lunch ready on a plastic white tray...always with a glass of milk and a Little Debbie with whatever she prepared for me that day. Having an hour for lunch, her and I had a system to utilize that 35 minutes before I had to head back to the Bank I worked at. I remember being so stressed at the Bank and mom telling me to "hang on till ya get your 20 years in"! The conversation this day was about what she was going to do with her time, now that she's not taking care of Ma anymore. We talked about the Senior Center and trips we were saving for. Now, it was time to go and I walked to my car after hugging mom. Just before I get in, I skip back to her and hug her again and plant a kiss on her cheek. That was my calling card. She told me that after lunch with me one day, she had a Dr. Appointment and the nurse looked at mom and whispered "you have lipstick on your cheek"'. We got a good laugh out of that. I get in my car and back out of her driveway waving to her till I rounded the corner. That was it. Ganine found mom dead on the bathroom floor in the early hours and called me. There was a crack in the universe and it took me years to recover. As Mother's Day draws near, I see all the signs and I believe if I didn't have my son, I would probably crack again. I love being Clay's mom, and I loved being my mom's daughter. There's still not a day that I don't wish she were here, but I know now how selfish that is. When I see adults with their mom's, I just want to yell out "hug her as tight as you can because one day...". But I don't, I just think it. She was a good mom. A smart mom. A fun mom. Love your moms everyone...love them while they're here.

How Big is Your House?

When I was about thirteen years old, I remembered we lived in a double wide trailer in Cashion, Arizona. To this day, every time I smell something that smells like rotten eggs, I think of a perfume called "Evening in Cashion". Mom and dad divorced and long horrible story made short, mom remarried an ex convict she met the week he got out of San Quinton Prison. They had eloped. I'm saving money for boots because my friend Mona had a pair. When I got up to five dollars I was so happy. Pulling weeds, cleaning and babysitting paid off! My stepdad (who by the way was 6'5" and 350 pounds) walked up to me and said "give me that five and I'll make five hundred out of it". Me, being part stupid and part scared to say no, relinquished my hard earned money, never to see or hear about it again...fast forward three months or so and I'm on the school bus going home down that dusty dirty road called Durango that we lived on, when all of a sudden a boy with a speech impediment yells out "WHEERZ YOEZ HOUZZZEE??? I'm like..WHAT??? What do you mean where's my house?? I look out the window and what should my eyes behold? Our lot with one big brown square on it where our trailer use to be!! I'm shocked, but most of all mortified and embarrassed! What can I say?? It needed a tune-up?? I get off the bus and while standing there staring in disbelief, my mom and step dad pull up and yell, "get in the car"! Off we drive to a relatives house who lived in Cashion also, and sitting on her lot was a travel trailer. Little did I know that this travel trailer was to become our home for years...all six of us in that tiny travel trailer. What a nightmare! I was labeled a recurring runaway by the State not because I hated my mom but because I was claustrophobic! Don't worry...the State didn't buy it either. Fast forward to today, I have a comfortable roof over my head that I thank God for every day. However, when my friend Gary died so suddenly, I was reminded, this is not my real house. The Lord goes and prepares a place for us that believe...even in His name. Simply close your eyes and say "Lord Jesus, I know I'm a sinner and I need a Savoir. Please forgive me of my disbelief and come into my heart". That's it. Then, when we get to that final blink of an eye, we will all be reunited with our loved ones who knew the Lord. When I saw Gary laying on that gurney, I saw peace...calm....maybe even half a smile. He's absent from the body but present with the Lord ... who is the ressurection and the life. Gary is in his real house now never to hurt or cry or die again. Praise the Lord.

Perfect Storm??

As a young girl growing up, I remembered always being afraid of the end of the world. You see, my parents had been pulled into a Jehovah's Witness cult and back in the day they we told that the end of the world would be on such and such a date. Apparently, my mom figured this was going to occur through a horrid storm. So each time monsoon season came, we would be told to run and get in between the box spring and the mattress because it was after all, the end of the world. I still remember us four girls laying in between the box spring and matress, wide-eyed, being scared with our little dog also shaking. Thankfully, my parents got out of that but I still struggled with the fear of monsoons for years. I even remember trying to make it a game with my son by playing camp out (under the stairway)...of course, later he told me he knew what was up... As an adult I learned that if you have some knowledge about certain things in life, you can conquer fear. So, I watched everything I could on storms and tornado's. What I found were that storms are necessary. Without storms, the new seasons would not be able to usher in. The biggest storms come around the four different seasons. And thus, I find in my life that there are storms that have shaken my foundation and twigs and branches were lobbed off. Yet, it was necessary to usher in the new seasons of my life. To think we are going to cruise through this world with no storms is unrealistic. However, as I mature, I do desire to find that peace I've seen in others as they go through storms and I admire that. As we've probably all heard, "Sometimes God calms the storm, and sometimes God calms the child as they go through the storm.". Now, I see storms for what they are and while I won't drive in a monsoon...I'm so grateful for a loving God that doesn't allow anything in our life unless it's going to conform us. May we all desire that.