Time to Grow Up

And not a moment too soon, I might add! Haha. The older I get, the more I realize that I can't blame people, my upbringing, even the devil for the things I do that are wrong. I have the ability to choose to do or not do things that are not good or healthy for me. I have been playing around with a habit for a number of years (this isn't pretty, but it was smoking). It wasn't until a month ago, I sincerely asked the Lord to free me from this habit. I thought back to why I had picked up this habit after not doing it for ten years. The answer came like a lightening bolt. My mom and I were very close and one morning she went to be with the Lord...without even a goodbye or a warning. It seemed that just as she was starting to relax and enjoy life, at the age of 57, she was gone. The pain was like a knife that continually twisted in my heart and the anger at the Lord for allowing this, was fierce. I had been a Christian for about ten years at this point, and I knew our days are numbered, but I thought this was cruel. So, I had a very, very long temper tantrum. It was so awful that I remember my Uncle asking me if I were really saved...Ouch. By God's everlasting loving kindness, I came back to the Lord...but I came with some habits. I still cry at realizing how long His patience is because I am so thankful. He lead me to some strong Christians, not babies. He put me in a church that teaches the Word and doesn't water it down. He's put a song in my heart and a desire to grow and makeup for some lost time. I'm involved in sharing His fantastic grace again like I use to be but with more love. The bible states, when I was a child, I acted like a child and I reasoned like a child, but when I became mature...I put away childish things. With maturity, comes responsibility and accountability. I want to be found doing what is pleasing to the Lord, not my flesh. Today, I want to walk in love and truth. I want to be a pleasing aroma to the Lord (not a smoky one...teehee). Let's come together and encourage each other to please the One who made us. It's a great ride!